Monday, June 27, 2011

On my mind.

      I have been contemplating a lot of things in my life that are currently going on. I finally feel like I have direction, and goals to accomplish and I am so grateful for that. I know where "I" need to be, where "I" need to go, and it's a encouraging feeling. I have a beautiful family who supports me and wants me to succeed and become the best man I can. They have been a huge factor in the reason I want live a righteous and satisfying life. I am grateful for the gospel. I have struggled through my whole life wondering if I had a testimony, I felt like I was so far short of being what I needed to be... and regardless, I am so blessed. Just like the times when I was scared and my dad came to rescue me, I have felt that way with my Heavenly Father, and my savior Jesus Christ. Whenever I feel incapable, low, and weak... I am never truly alone. They continually keep me in their watch and care... even though I foolishly wander away. I am learning that they are always there for me, and I have come to the realization, that I never want to wander away.
 Another thing on my mind lately, is this beautiful girl, Brittani Finlayson. I struggle to write what I feel for her, and I can't pinpoint what it is about her, but it is perfection. She has made me so, so happy. I have been damaged from past experiences, and I swore I would not let my walls down. With her, I don't have walls. I have nothing to hide, I want to share with her everything I am feeling.  And for whatever reason why things all worked out now, I feel like it was meant to be. I hate saying goodbye to her, whenever it is. She is always on my mind, and I keep writing about her, because it is all that I really want to do... It's strange really, to not understand what love is entirely, but be convinced that you feel something that is so strong, even if it's so premature. It energizes me, and gives me the desire to keep moving forward. I am a lucky man, to have B.

My mind seems to always find its way to Brittani.

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