Tim Mcgraw...

This has been a very interesting week and a half... I have been reflecting on basically everything going on in my life right now. Its almost as if someone pulled the blinders of my face and everything is flooding to me all at once. Im scared, excited, happy, sad, motivated, and a whole boxfull more of emotions. I keep thinking about the past, how good its been, how good my life was since the beginning of june. Its been a growing process for me, and I have learned a lot about myself. I've learned what love feels like, what it truly feels like. And it is the most incredible feeling. Its this feeling of, service, and passion and selflessness. I can't do it justice, I can't fully explain it. That giddy excitement, any time you know you are going to be with your love. Making every moment count, every moment engraining itself in your memory so that you can re live it over and over again. I learned how to love.
I learned that timing is so crucial in every human's life. That things are rarely accomplished in the time frame that "we" want, and that it's all in God's time. I know if I put him first, he'll take care of me. I am using my agency to give him my life. I know he is my master, and he truly loves me, when it feels that all other parts of my life are damaged and broken. I can always keep my chin up, be confident, and know that everything will all work out in time. I have a full 2 years away from this world I know now, and if I put my trust in the lord, then all the stressors of life will be sorted out. School. Work. Relationships... The biggest challenge, I've faced personally is patience. I know, that things will work out how they are meant to be. I also know, that we aren't supposed to just let life happen, we need to find a goal, and shoot for that goal. Give it everything to accomplish that goal and to make it work. So with these two concepts in my thoughts, I have been trying to apply them. To ask for guidance, to know what my father wants me to do, and then to go for it. To give it my all.
I was taking a shower today, listening to Tim Mcgraw and I was filled with thoughts and emotions of past times with someone so special to me. And that's what got me thinking about all of this.
I love life, and I still am in love. I still will be patient, and I'll still focus on what needs to be done.

Recently.

(it's my dog. I just wanted a cool picture of something.)
So, I recently decided that I passionately, HATE when chicas that write blog posts using bold, italics, underlining, coloring, and all THAT GRAMMATICAL GARBAGE a.k.a. some chick named "anonymous." sorry linsey. Crap I slipped.   It gives me a migraine when I read 3 words changing fonts every line, and/or every word. I just named dropped. sorry. But it's true.
Im always wanting to change my blog scheme and mix it up, but ultimately I realized that it doesn't matter what the appearance is... just the content! So I know there are only a select few who follow my blog, so I'm going to try to make it something enjoyable and maybe even something useful to read...
 ANOTHER thing. I always just want to write about my lover. Brittani. She always. is. on. my. mind. Not in a distracting way, just in a way where I am always happy and comforted by the thought of her. She and I joke about who is the boss in the relationship, you know what, I definitely am. okay. no... I just like to think that. Im whipped. extremely... I just always want to make her happy. I could write a book on how I feel about brittani. I also feel extremely random on my writing scheme currently. Im having sporadic memories, and feelings rush through my body and I just want to get them out. Brittani is like facebook. She is addictive, and even if you put off things you should do to be with her, you're always happier, and its always a freaking blast.
I love the rain. Its raining right now. (the October night of the 4th) and I realized that fall is here. Its changing and I am so excited for this romantic season full of vibrant colors. I cannot wait for the fires up the canyon, the corn mazes, the pumpkins, Leroy at Heehaws with the massive balls... I guess he died. I hope they get another one who can compete in the manliness category. He's a stud. So falls here, its great! 
WELP, my blogs plain jane, sorry linsey... its not frilly and "fun" to read. and my life is not a fairy tale, and realistically, no ones is. So lets not fake it shall we. So anytime I go on a date with my girl, Im not going to go into every emotion or things that happened... making out, is well, making out. not an extravagant slow passionate kiss, that is intimate and full of sexual emotion. I dunno. I just get a kick out of these fairy tale blogs 15 year old girls read that get a weird rise out of them. So if you're looking for that, heres this... www.linseymariebrown.blogspot.com. My blog is blunt. and beautiful... like a black woman. anyways... Peace out!!